Finding Myself in Fashion by Jeanne Beker

Author:Jeanne Beker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Canada

TENNESSEE STUD

GETTING IT RIGHT often takes time. Seasons come and go, fashions change, and remaining true to yourself is often painfully trying. Sometimes staying fashionable is about following your head. And sometimes, it’s about following your heart. The most successful collections—and the most successful designers—are those that manage to walk the line between practicality and fantasy, a very precarious place to be. Sometimes, a designer will strike out with a collection and get panned by the critics. But that kind of failure rarely heralds the end of a career. The following season, the same designer can come back stronger than ever. What’s important is experimenting with new directions. After all, no guts, no glory.

When my relationship with Jack ended, I yearned to find someone who saw the world the way I did—a kindred creative spirit who could read the poetry in every line of life. Someone who got the music, who could always make me laugh. I longed for such a complete about-face in my personal life because the last few years had been so inexplicably lonely for me. I was on a mission to find Mr. Right.

You might imagine that being in the public eye has some advantages when it comes to meeting people—after all, you’re constantly “out there” in a variety of social situations. But in my experience, “out there” can be a rather wretched place. First of all, as a woman who has achieved a degree of public success, you can be intimidating to men who would rather have the spotlight to themselves. Then there are those guys who are put off by all the attention that comes with being a well-known face. They prefer anonymity and resent the constant scrutiny that comes with the territory. I should have known my marriage was in trouble when I first heard Denny tell someone that being out with me was like “being with a neon sign.” I had worked for so long to build my visibility, but now it seemed like some kind of curse.

I had several girlfriends who were meeting men online—but that was something I could never feel comfortable doing. Too many people knew me, or at least thought they knew me. It would just be too embarrassing to put myself out there like that. And while you might suppose that the social aspect of my work would make it a cinch to meet all sorts of interesting guys, any woman who works in fashion will tell you that about 98 percent of the men she meets play for the other team. I never gave up hoping that the man of my dreams might be around the next corner, but I started thinking that a little divine intervention might be in order if I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. All my friends were aware that I was eager to meet someone, and that I might be willing to entertain a blind date. The problem was, there was a shortage of straight, single, age-appropriate guys around.

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